We naturally want everyone to agree with us. It helps us to feel smarter and reassures us that we are on the right track with our thinking.
Alas, the world is full of people with diverse backgrounds and experiences and we’re not going to have a unanimous consensus.
To add to the fun, some of those people are belligerent and argumentative. They annoy us, they call us names and they torment us.
In this online age, this can become more invasive and more distracting.
The temptation can be to engage them in debate, to win them over with our superior argument, to show them up to the world as the ignorant individuals that they are.
A wise man once said, “Don’t argue with a fool for too long, because after a while, no-one can tell the difference between you.”
Try not to get too distracted by the fools in your life. I’m guessing that you won’t be able to win them over, but you’ll just end up banging your head against a brick wall.
I read on my Twitter feed the other day (from basketballer Andrew Bogut of all people), “Haters don’t really hate you, they hate themselves because you’re a reflection of what they wish to be.”
That’s a great reminder that sometimes, when people give us a hard time, it’s actually more about them than it is about us. It comes more out of their feelings of inadequacy than out of anything that we’ve done.
My feeling is that there are too many people out there who are ready to hear what you have to say for you to get caught up in petty arguments.
It’s just not worth it, you’re better than that and we need you fully focused on the task of doing meaningful work.
It’s also worth adding that not everyone who disagrees with you is a fool, nor should they be treated like one. There is nothing wrong with intelligent debate with sensible people who can expand your mind and challenge your thinking.
But when you’re tempted to engage in a senseless debate with someone and you know it will go nowhere, remember Proverbs 23:9, “Don’t bother talking sense to fools; they’ll only poke fun at your words.” (Message translation)
Previous post – Impulses You Should Act On… and Some You Should Ignore
Next post – It’s Always Tough at First
7 comments
Comments feed for this article
March 9, 2011 at 1:04 pm
Debbie
Thanks for helping with this!
LikeLike
March 9, 2011 at 1:50 pm
Darren Poke
You’re welcome Debbie. I’m glad that you found it helpful.
LikeLike
March 19, 2011 at 4:21 am
Ryan Chua
“Haters don’t really hate you, they hate themselves because you’re a reflection of what they wish to be.” Exactly! This reminds me a lot of my Mother in Law. When we argue with fools it actually makes us more of a fool than the ones we’re arguing with.
LikeLike
March 22, 2011 at 2:04 pm
Darren Poke
Ouch, I hope that your mother in law doesn’t see this. Thanks for commenting Ryan.
LikeLike
January 24, 2013 at 11:54 am
zing
Yes,..it helped a great way..my husband was trying to argue yesterday..and i just said..i dont want to argue or substantiate anything..and it stopped…and althrough i felt a little low..i went out…cried little and back again..i dont know he felt happy after he had said something..he poured water on my back..and made fun of me…i just kept calm…and nothing happenned..later i found he was not happy …
LikeLike
September 30, 2013 at 3:27 am
folashade
This is a betterlife and reality blog.when it seems you have forgotten certain things you can actally fall back on this blog.
LikeLike
August 21, 2017 at 3:04 pm
benaiah
thanks for the information
LikeLike